Pink, Gold, and Silver Friends

You gotta have friends.

I really do have the best friends.   Look at all these pink friends in the 2011 Little Rock Race for the Cure; pink friends rock my world!

I’m grateful for my gold friends–eternally grateful.  I always individually refer to these gold friends as my best friend.  Sounds like a junior high girl, no? My gold friends are so special to me I call them lifers or lifetime friends.  There is nothing they could ever do to cease being a lifer to me.   They know who they are.  We can talk about anything, absolutely anything, and they are brutally honest with me, and me with them.  We also laugh like hyenas.  We can just look at each other and crack ourselves up.   Lord, I love those friends!

Now I am gathering more silver friends.  This past year I’ve become involved in more social activities and have met some amazing women who are becoming quite special to me.  I just spent a weekend with a group of silver friends at a knitting/quilting retreat.   My throat is still sore from laughing.  Pillow fight–need I say more?

I’m wondering if there is such a thing as bronze friends….

Make new friends, keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold.


State of the (Un)Union

Not our divorce; why so much pain?

I’ve blogged before about the awesome friends/couples Better Half and I have.   So why did one of them screw it all up?  I should mention that by “one of them” I mean ½ of the couple.  Better Half and I are reeling and experiencing a wide variety of emotions.   I feel something bordering on rage, and I’m not really sure why.  I am almost taking this personally.  Well, not almost, I am taking this personally.  I guess if any of us had heard any inkling of dissatisfaction it wouldn’t be such a shock, but when I say none of us saw this coming, I really mean it.

Better Half is imploring me to remember our marriage is rock solid, and I need to stop trying to transfer one person’s crisis (midlife?) into our lives, but it’s hard.  If someone we knew so well can undo his 30-year marriage by muttering a few words. . . .

I now have a friend experiencing pain and agony.  She’s scared, and I feel helpless.   She visited us for three days and I tried to help her make sense of this mess, but I’m probably not the right person because even I can’t make sense of it in my nugget.  Better Half and I have expressed that we will remain friends with both parties and there are no “sides” but at the point I am unable to talk to the husband.

It seems divorce is going around.  Now there is a young couple in our family getting divorced.  It makes me so sad to see couples giving up so easily.  Marriage is hard work.  It’s never 50/50 and shouldn’t be.  Sometimes I’m only capable of giving 15%, but I know Better Half is pulling 85%, and he’s okay with that.  I try to return the favor when I can, although I know it’s more than likely him pulling more weight.  Gosh darn it, I love that man.

Any tips for dealing with this range of emotions or tips for my friend?

Quotable Quote

“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Big C and Double Fs

Cancer.  Friends.  Family.

Yep, they go hand in hand; at least they do for me.  Lucky me.  You heard me right.  Lucky me.   I can’t imagine going through something so horrific as cancer and not having the love and support of friends and family.  They are what get you through the rough days and encourage you that You Can Beat This.

Even though it’s been four years since my breast cancer diagnosis, my friends and family continue to support not only me, but all the other women (and men) diagnosed with this awful disease.  These dear supporters have so much good karma coming their way.  I’m thankful for each and every one of them.  You know who you.  Please know that my family and I adore and love you.   Here’s wishing each and every one of them (and yourself included) a lovely holiday season and let’s pray 2011 is an amazing year for all.

Peace and good karma.

“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”

The above Bernard Meltzer quote defines most of my friendships—my friends all know I am slightly cracked!

While I might not be one to have hordes of friends, the friends I do have are true friends and not mere acquaintances.   One dear friend, from the day I met her, has been a confidante, an advocate, and sometimes accomplice (!), had her birthday recently.  We always exchange thoughtful gifts, but as I get more and more stuff, I realize I need less and less stuff.  It’s time I crave.  More time. . . .

With that in mind, I knew I really wanted to spend time with my friend and celebrate friendship, not necessarily a birthday.  Hum, now that I think about this, maybe I’m not a good friend because it was her birthday, yet I gave her the gift I wanted to receive. . . .   (I might need to think over what appears to be underlying motives!)

I knitted her a small personal gift I hoped would be something special and then whisked her away to spend 36 hours in an area I have always found charming and have always wanted to share with her.

I’d love to say everything went according to the perfect girls’ retreat plan I had in my head, but alas, people get lost, blankety-blank road construction happens, etc.!  Still, I had a terrific time showing my friend this area.  We shopped alongside charming brick-lined streets, tasted great and not-so-great wine (hot pumpkin wine—yes for me, no for her!), shared a leisurely dinner at a vineyard with my daughter-in-law, and received wet kisses from the cutest grandson ever!

Here’s to good friends.  Pass on good karma by celebrating friendships, not gifts.  Laugh with friends, cry with friends.  The only song I remember from my half summer at Camp Fern is:  Make new friends, but keep the old.  One is silver and the other gold.  Happy birthday to a gold friend!

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