Not our divorce; why so much pain?
I’ve blogged before about the awesome friends/couples Better Half and I have. So why did one of them screw it all up? I should mention that by “one of them” I mean ½ of the couple. Better Half and I are reeling and experiencing a wide variety of emotions. I feel something bordering on rage, and I’m not really sure why. I am almost taking this personally. Well, not almost, I am taking this personally. I guess if any of us had heard any inkling of dissatisfaction it wouldn’t be such a shock, but when I say none of us saw this coming, I really mean it.
Better Half is imploring me to remember our marriage is rock solid, and I need to stop trying to transfer one person’s crisis (midlife?) into our lives, but it’s hard. If someone we knew so well can undo his 30-year marriage by muttering a few words. . . .
I now have a friend experiencing pain and agony. She’s scared, and I feel helpless. She visited us for three days and I tried to help her make sense of this mess, but I’m probably not the right person because even I can’t make sense of it in my nugget. Better Half and I have expressed that we will remain friends with both parties and there are no “sides” but at the point I am unable to talk to the husband.
It seems divorce is going around. Now there is a young couple in our family getting divorced. It makes me so sad to see couples giving up so easily. Marriage is hard work. It’s never 50/50 and shouldn’t be. Sometimes I’m only capable of giving 15%, but I know Better Half is pulling 85%, and he’s okay with that. I try to return the favor when I can, although I know it’s more than likely him pulling more weight. Gosh darn it, I love that man.
Any tips for dealing with this range of emotions or tips for my friend?